Why is it....

.....that just when you think that someone that has underestimated and underappreciated you for years, is finally starting to do the exact opposite they do something to totally make you doubt your judgement?

A friend of mine recently blogged about relationships and how some just never really go away. How there's always that one person that you'll always forgire no matter what because there's a bond holding you together.

Well in my case she was right. For me it's a life and no matter how hard I try to make this person understand that the way you treat people does matter, they just don't get it. They have the mentality that you look out for #1 and that's it. You don't consider who helped you to where you are or that you are steadily leaning on them emotionally. You don't consider that you put more worth in the relationships that have barely been around and usually only when there's something in it for them.

Take for instance the fact that I am just a giving person. I help people and do what I can for my friends and family when I can. Sometimes that's a lot while at other times it's very little. But in this persons case I've done a lot over and over again and I've been repeatedly stepped on. I'm not asking that I be praised or that I get anything in return. I'm simply asking that I be treated with a little more respect then that of the people that lie about you, walk all over you and use you.

Am I naive to expect that someone would just simply appreciate everything that's been done for them by showing some good old fashioned respect? What are you teaching your children when they see someone helping you and you can't even respect the person that's helping you? It's something that I will never understand.

I think that my main problem with all of this is that it will continue. Because this is the one person that no matter what I will always forgive them. However, if you know me you know I will never forget. And I won't let you forget either. I don't live in the past but I do remember it. It hurts and it's the only thing I have to go on. You haven't proved yourself to be anything other then what you were in your past so why not?

Now don't get me wrong. This person did a lot of damage to me and since grew and changed into a much better person. But at the same time there's still a lot of growth that's needed to acheive the type of person that I know they can be. The kind of person that they were raised to be. Leave behind the insecurities that are binding you to the person that you are. The old notions that you have to be something that you aren't. Look to the future at what is waiting for you to stand up and show them how to be a good and decent human. Look at the now and realize the mistakes that you are making that could cause irrepairalble damage.

Can you live with the consequences of your actions? Can you live with what the final result will be should you keep pushing and disregarding? I hope you can. I hope that you can look yourself in the mirror everyday and be happy with the way you've lived this part of your life. But know this. You will be the one to answer for everything, because I will only relay the truth.

Questions are going to arise and feelings are going to be hurt. You're going to have to answer very hard questions in spite of the fact that this is the best you've done so far. Regardless of all the good you've done there are still lies being told. Not only to myself and the one you really need to live your life for but to other people. You're making people believe that you're something that you're not. You're still chasing that lifestyle that you've so long claimed to despise.

You don't see it that way though. You're just delusional enough to think that you're just living. That you're not hurting anyone because after all. No one really knows right? Well trust me. People know. And when it comes back on you no pity will be spared in your general direction. Yes I will eventually always forgive you for everything you've done to me. But I will not feel sorry for you for the mess that you've again put yourself in.W