Life

Sometimes I find myself pondering. Why am I here? I know something that everyone asks themselves at one point or another. But I just had a birthday, my 28th to be exact, and I'm not where I thought I would be 10 years ago. When you turn 18 and you're a Senior in high school about to step out into the world on your own without the constraints of your parents you think that everything is going to happen very quickly. You believe that things are going to come as easily as they always have. I mean let's face it. No matter how many college level classes you take in school or how many after school jobs you have you're never really prepared for doing it on your own.

Maybe this is why I lived with my father until I was 22. He actually retired and moved out leaving me in the house. I was then like the proverbial baby bird. My Darwinian instincts had to kick in or I was going to land flat on my butt instead of spreading my wings to fly. I didn't handle this well. So what happened? I landed on my butt. But when this happened I had a really great reason to stand up and keep fighting instead of running back to the nest.

I had a tiny little bundle of baby boy that made me realize there was no nest. I had to figure things out and fight for what we both needed. Which I've come to realize are not CD's, stylish clothes or any of the other things that I had come to depend on while a baby bird living in a nest paid for by my parents. Shelter, Food, Water, Electricity. These are the things that are needed. These are the things that I worry about now. Yes having the latest trendy car would be very nice. But not a necessity. I figure that these things will come in time. Right now just stay afloat and work for what you need and you'll be OK.

But I always come back to that question. Why am I here? I always imagined myself making a difference in peoples lives. I never had one consistent vision of how I would be helping said people but none the less. I always imagined that I would contribute something. So my question is this? How have you discovered what it is that you were put on this rock for? I've got aspirations for everything from social worked to President. Yes I know. A presidential candidate I am not. But this just shows you the range of things to which I aspire.

So alas, I will continue to blunder through life making what I hope to be the right decisions. I will raise my Bug as best I know and love him with all my heart. I will pursue higher education and hopefully choose what it is that's best suited for this barely hovering baby bird.