Blah Blah Blah

I'm in one of those moods. One of those where I just want to talk about anything and everything!

So I filed my tax return yesterday. I know big deal. Well in the past I've filed at HR Block. I've always gotten a good size return but was apparently in the dark about some things. I've always asked my "Tax Professional" about claiming the money that I pay towards child care. And I've always been told the same thing. That there's no point in claiming it since my standard deduction is larger then what my deduction would be should I itemize. Sounds reasonable. But here's the kicker. The dependent care thing is a credit. Hello? Not the same thing as a deduction. So I'm getting back more this year then ever because I didn't trust a "tax professional." And I'm getting my taxes done for free. Yep! And onto another subject so I think I'll start a new paragraph.

A couple friends of mine and my sister have been singing the praises of Turbo Tax. So I tried it. When I figured everything out I was getting the big refund that I explained above. But it got to the end and wanted me to pay $29.95. Yeah I know this is a rather small amount in comparison to what I was paying the "tax professional", but at the same time Argh. So go in search of a promotional code. And when you search you always find the forums where someone else has asked the same question. Well the answer I find is that Turbo Tax offers a free edition of their software. Yep! That's right. As long as you are filing a 1040 EZ, 1040A or one other and your total AGI, I think, is less then $28,500, you do not have to pay the $29.95 fee. It always bothers me that companies don't advertise these things. You have to just happen to find them. So if someone isn't aware of this and fits into the above criteria they are paying money that they don't have to. So I'm telling you now. Go to www.taxfreedom.com and see if you can file for free.

Let's see. I think that's all that's really pressing for me to vent about at this time. But I know there will be more. So rest assured you'll have more to read later. Thanks for sticking around this long.

A Week Without my Bug!

Yep! You read right! I won't see my Bug again until Sunday. Which actually came as a bit of a shock.

Friday night I dropped the Bug off with his Dad as I normally do, fully expecting to get him back on Sunday. So I call on Sunday to see the best time to go and get him and I'm asked if I don't remember him asking for him to spend the whole week with them. Apparently the girlfriend is on vacation. Ok. Yes. He did 2 weeks ago say something about them taking Grayson for a week during vacation. But I was in a hurry and he said that he would call me and talk to me about it later. No such call was ever received. In fact I made a call a week ago to inquire about this week and no call was returned. Then when dropping off the Bug I was not reminded and this was not discussed.

My question is this? Shouldn't things like this be discussed? Shouldn't you confirm that the parent doing the driving know how long you're expecting to keep the child so that things can be agreed upon? I think so.

Which leads me to something else. Does anyone else agree with me that we need to communicate on things such as Christmas and Birthday presents? Grayson's Dad has adopted the policy that Grayson has toys at his house and my house. Which is fine. But he goes on to further implement that these toys can NOT leave his house. This extends to clothes and shoes as well. Even movies. Grayson will ask to bring one of his toys home and he is told no. He comes back to me in the clothes that I sent him in. Which don't get me wrong. I fully appreciate that I get back the clothes that I sent him in clean and unstained. But what bothers is me is this. Say they are out for the day shopping or what have you and he's in something that his Daddy has bought him. If they don't have time to make it home his Daddy will ask when I meet them that I bring him a change of clothes. I send Grayson in clothes that I've purchased. I don't ask that he bring clothes for him so that my clothes don't leave the house. I also allow Grayson to take toys over to his Daddy's house that I have purchased for him. So why can't the same trust be extended to me? Why put such rules on Grayson when they are indeed his things? Am I being unreasonable to think that Grayson should be allowed to bring a favorite toy wherever he goes?

I could go on but it would open up a whole lot of other complaints and I'm not sure if I want to go on forever. So I'm putting this out there for you to decide. What are your views?

Now I also want to put in here that I completely understand that there are other parents out there that are in the type of situation that they buy nice things for their child then every time they get their child they are in dirty nasty clothes and never see the nice things that they bought for them ever again. That is not the case with me. Grayson's clothes are clean and unstained. Yes he does have some play stuff. But that is exactly what that stuff is. It's for running around the house and playing outside. Not for school/outings. This is why this is a problem for me.

I'll leave it to you now. What do you think? Am I being unreasonable?

And since I've veered so far off subject commened you for making it this far!

Oh My Gosh!

My thighs are killing me. And I mean killing me. I recently added squats to my strength training exercises and boy can I tell it. It hurts to sit down. It hurts to stand up. It really really hurts to climb stairs! LOL Oh well. No pain no gain right? I will have some really hot legs and a great butt if I can just stick with it! LOL Oh well. There's my gripe session.

My Bug!

This is a repeat of a blog that I posted a few months ago but it bares repeating!

I love that Grayson says Punkin instead of Pumpkin.

I love that when I am upset Grayson gives me a hot wheel to make it better.

I love that Grayson tells me that he loves me daily without prompting.

I love that after just one day at school Grayson runs to me like it's been a week.

I love that Grayson says sammich instead of sandwich.

I love that Grayson still likes to cuddle with me just because.

I love that a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich totally makes his day.

I love that he says Kika Butter instead of Peanut Butter.

I love that when Grayson sings in the tub.

In short I am in love with my son. He has been the #1 man in my life since the moment I knew I was pregnant. Almost 5 years ago. I thank God daily that I have him and don't know where I would be or what I would do without him. He can make me laugh and cry in the same moment. He infuriates me and makes me eternally happy from one moment to the next. Everything I do is for my little Bug. I used to measure success by how much money I had or what I could buy. I now measure my success by how happy my son is. So, in my eyes, I am the most successful person I know. Simply mention his name and I overflow with pride. I only hope that one day I can make him as proud.

I posted this blog again because I needed to remind myself to have patience with him. Some of the things that I mentioned above have changed. He now says Peanut Butter and sandwich. But he's going through something right now and I get so frustrated with him on a daily basis. So this is actually a little self help for myself. God give me strength!

Lesson's Learned!

I'm not sure if anyone else is a fan of Carrie Underwood, but I know that I sure am. I just got her cd, Some Hearts, and I always like to sit down and really listen to a cd when I fist get it. Well I sat down and really listened to this one and this song really got to me. I've been really wondering lately about life and the roads that I've taken. The decisions I've made and whether they were right at the time, or even at all. Well this song brought a lot of perspective to all the questions that I've been asking myself. I'm pasting the lyrics below.

Lessons Learned
(Words & Music by Diane Warren)

There’s some things that I regret
Some words I wish had gone unsaid
Some starts that had some better endings
Been some bad times I ’ve been through
Damage I could not undo
Some things I wish I could do all all over again
But it don’t really matter
When life gets that much harder
It makes you that much stronger, oh
Some pages turned, some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned

From every tear that had to fall from my eyes
From every day I wondered how I’d get through the night
From every change life has thrown me
I’m thankful for every break in my heart
I’m grateful for every scar
Some pages turned, some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned

There’s mistakes that I have made
Some chances I just threw away
Some roads I never should’ve taken
Been some signs I didn’t see
Hearts that I hurt needlessly
Some wounds that I wish I could have one more chance to mend
But it don’t make no difference
The past can’t be re-written
You get the life you’re given, oh
Some pages turned, some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned

From every tear that had to fall from my eyes
From every day I wondered how I’d get through the night
From every change life has thrown me
I’m thankful for every breath in my heart
I’m grateful for every scar
Some pages turned, some bridges burned
But there were lessons learned

And all the things that break you
Are all the things that make you strong
You can’t change the past coz it’s gone
And you gotta just move on
It’s all lessons learned

Bridge with new changes:
and all the things that break you
Are all the things that make you strong
You can’t change the past cuz it’s gone
You just gotta move on
Because it’s all lessons learned

I was almost crying just sitting there thinking about everything that's gone on in my life and how I've been worried that I haven't made good decisions when it came to my life and my Bug's. But it just gave me the reassurance that I needed to get on with it and make things even better. To look back at what I learned from every hardhip that was thrown my way.

Yes. Grayson's father abandoned me not once but twice. But I was forced to learn how to do things on my own. To figure things out and become stronger.

Yes I lost my Mom at a young age. But I learned to appreciate the family I have and spend as much time with all of them as I can. I will never regret not having spent time with my loved ones.

Yes. I'm not where I thought that I would be in life right now, but I've learned that everything has happened for a reason and God is going to get me to where I need to be.

Of all the lessons I've learned that is the most important. Go is going to make sure that I end up exactly where I belong. I have Faith in that.

So Thank You to everyone and to God for my Lesson's Learned. They made me who I am today.

Public Service Announcement!

For those of you that have been reading my blog on My Space and here you may be seeing a bit of a resemblance. Ok. One heck of one. Blogging for me started out as a place to vent or just share my life. Well I'm turning over a new leaf that is blogging. I want to have a place where I get my thoughts out on paper so to speak. Somewhere to write down ideas that are constantly running through my head. Somewhere to put all of Grayson's escapades! So here it is. And I promise. It's going to get better and I will stop copying and pasting! LOL Just need to get the hang of this "journaling" thing and get those old wheels running again. So hang in there and come back often.

Do Not Leave Rene Alone in a Kitchen!

I want you all to go and take a look at what my sister did to our nice healthy meal! I prepared the Diet Coke Chicken and it's simmering away waiting for the sauce to reduce. Well I come in to log my dinner for the night.

She was alone in the kitchen for 5 minutes! That's it! 5 minutes! And what do I come back to find?







Blue Diet Coke Chicken and Blue Corn! Argh! This is your warning! Do not cook with Rene!

Faux Hickaccents

Yes.....I know. What the heck am I talking about? Well I'll tell you.

Ellen had George Lopez as a guest on her show today and it got my sister and I on the subject of accents. Now while I don't think that I have much of an accent I do have enough of one that it's obvious I am from the South, and when spending time with my family in Athens, to be more specific, from Texas.

Which got us on the subject of my brother. Now he was raised by the same parents. Yes my Dad has his words that are so obviously Texan but our mother did not sound at all like she hailed from Alabama. Or that she had lived in Texas for more then 20 years.

So why is it that my brother sounds like he was raised in a tiny East Texas town? I mean really? We were both raised in the same house by the same 2 people. Why is it that he chose to make himself sound this way? Aren't there many a Hollywood star and high powered executive that's gone to a lot of trouble to rid themselves of such accents? I mean even I have my words that just come out Texican. I hear it every time and try to catch it before someone else points it out and I become the butt of a joke. So it puzzles me that someone would choose to sound a certain way. That one would just adopt an accent out of the blue. And wouldn't it stand to reason that you would adopt one that would make you sound foreign? I mean why choose to sound like what is the butt of many a joke?

Now this is not to say that there's anything wrong with sounding like you are from Deep East Texas. That is not what I am saying at all. Many people come by it honestly and it sounds fine on them. But when adopted at the age of, oh, 17 or 18 it just sounds overdone and in the case of one that is related to me! DUMB! Now I've said this to him many times yet he insists that he came by it naturally. Ok so I was deaf the first 15-18 years of your life. Whatever!

So the whole point of this is to ask what you guys think? Is this something that you've encountered? And if so, does it bother you as much as it does me?

Almost forgot! Faux Hickaccents is the work of the ever clever Rene! LOL Not sure where she comes up with this stuff but nonetheless. She is the reason for this blog! Well.....You know what I mean!

Life

Sometimes I find myself pondering. Why am I here? I know something that everyone asks themselves at one point or another. But I just had a birthday, my 28th to be exact, and I'm not where I thought I would be 10 years ago. When you turn 18 and you're a Senior in high school about to step out into the world on your own without the constraints of your parents you think that everything is going to happen very quickly. You believe that things are going to come as easily as they always have. I mean let's face it. No matter how many college level classes you take in school or how many after school jobs you have you're never really prepared for doing it on your own.

Maybe this is why I lived with my father until I was 22. He actually retired and moved out leaving me in the house. I was then like the proverbial baby bird. My Darwinian instincts had to kick in or I was going to land flat on my butt instead of spreading my wings to fly. I didn't handle this well. So what happened? I landed on my butt. But when this happened I had a really great reason to stand up and keep fighting instead of running back to the nest.

I had a tiny little bundle of baby boy that made me realize there was no nest. I had to figure things out and fight for what we both needed. Which I've come to realize are not CD's, stylish clothes or any of the other things that I had come to depend on while a baby bird living in a nest paid for by my parents. Shelter, Food, Water, Electricity. These are the things that are needed. These are the things that I worry about now. Yes having the latest trendy car would be very nice. But not a necessity. I figure that these things will come in time. Right now just stay afloat and work for what you need and you'll be OK.

But I always come back to that question. Why am I here? I always imagined myself making a difference in peoples lives. I never had one consistent vision of how I would be helping said people but none the less. I always imagined that I would contribute something. So my question is this? How have you discovered what it is that you were put on this rock for? I've got aspirations for everything from social worked to President. Yes I know. A presidential candidate I am not. But this just shows you the range of things to which I aspire.

So alas, I will continue to blunder through life making what I hope to be the right decisions. I will raise my Bug as best I know and love him with all my heart. I will pursue higher education and hopefully choose what it is that's best suited for this barely hovering baby bird.

Why is it.......

That children are never hungry until you sit down with something to eat. They then climb up and sit next to you with big Puppy Dog eyes requesting bites? Just an observation I've made. Anyone else experience this?

Mahi Mahi!

This is what I hear Rene say on a daily basis followed by a tiny fit of laughter. Why do you ask is my sister laughing about a Dolphin Fish and what does this have to do with my Bug? Well it's like this. Bug has taken to calling me Mahi. Yes. This annoys the crap out of me. Not sure why. Maybe it's due to my fear of Mahi Mahi. I had a bad experience with some of the aforementioned fish while pregnant with Grayson. Maybe it's due to the fact that I just don't like being called a fish. Either way I refuse to answer him until I am called by my proper name. Which makes Rene only encourage him by calling me Mahi Mahi and the cycle starts all over again. *sigh......What is a Mahi Bug to do?

Mommy Can I Allowed to Have Cookies?

This is what I hear from my Bug as he comes wandering into the room. He's in his usual. Underwear that are much to big with the ever present threat of his wiggle falling out and holding his 2 favorite toys! Speed and Mater! I tell him that he has to give me a hug and kiss first. So he comes around to oblige me and all the while yelling "Mommy!" in that voice that is normally saved for Rene when she has once again said something inappropriate. I get my hug and kiss and tell him to go get his cookies. "Yeah!" And he runs off. Ahhhhhh to be young again understand the excitement cookies give.

First Blog!

I recently decided that I needed a real blog. This is, in part, due to my sister. She and her friend have these great blogs that everyone loves to read so the Green Eyed Monster got the better of me and here I am. I hope that you enjoy all of my ramblings. While some will be funny clever little anecdotes that my Bug never ceases to amaze me with; others will simply be about my life and what's being thrown my way! I pray that you bare with me through all of this. So thank you Rene and Shawn and let the ramblings begin!